A New Year's "Resolution"...

We all think about resolutions at this time of year. Sadly, I've read more and more folks posting on blogs and social network sites, that they have abandoned New Year's resolutions. I understand the motive. As many have explained, those darned resolutions set us up for failure. We defeat ourselves before we even begin by making a huge list of things we want to improve upon "this year". Usually, it's a lifelong challenge, but this is the year, we resolve to finally beat it.

No wonder we fail.

And what a shame that we begin the year by focusing on our weaknesses. That's not really a positive way to start anything, now is it?

Though, something about abandoning resolutions really tears at my heartstrings. There's something good about reflecting, and commiting on growing. I, personally, believe that growth is essential right up until the moment of death in order for us to live a fulfilled life. I like the idea of never giving up on myself in areas where I know I ought to "do better".

Wishes, Dreams, Plans... Those are all great.  But without a little resolve, most of us never graduate past the dream stage. And what good is a dream that doesn't come true? I want my reality to be my "dream life". And for the most part it is. But that is totally the result of dreams+resolve=Living that dream.

So.... as I've pondered this thoroughly, I've come to some conclusions...

I am convinced that we fail at our resolutions because all we do is focus on the negatives, but have no plan... no goal as to HOW to turn those into positives. I think rather than focus on the negative things we want to avoid, or change, we should focus on what positive thing we can focus on to be all that we "dream" we can be.

I've been thinking about my typical resolution lists over the years. Usually they have the same biggies on them. Rather than looking at them individually, I tried to discover the root cause. Then, instead of focusing on that cause, I decided to find the virtue, or practice... good habit, you might say... that would best aid in the overcoming of the challenges I want to conquer.

I've combined that thought process with what some of my friends have done the past couple of years... adopting a "word" to live by. In fact, it's a word that has popped into my life many times this past year. And I've already put it to practice a few times, and seen amazing results. My word for 2012 is:

When I'm feeling lazy,

When I'm stuck in creative cement because of undue perfectionism,

When I'm feeling an attack of insecurity

When I'm floundering on decisions...
"Action"
will be the word I use as a prompt to inspire me.

That is my resolve for 2012... To take action.

Ironically, 2011 has catapulted me into this mindset. There are some major uncertainties awaiting me in the coming weeks. I am a bit scared. But I know that no matter what happens, it will require action. And I am resolved not to lose focus, or lose heart. One of my favorite movies ever is Meet The Robinsons. Two great lessons are merged, which are such gifts to live by. One is "letting go", and the other is that as long as you keep at it, there's no such thing as failure... just another step in the process of learning what works and what doesn't. So, even if things should not turned out as I hope and pray... I will pull up my big girl bloomers, and take action to make things better. All we can do is move forward. And I intend to do that with gusto in 2012.
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This is the second year, that my resolution is more of a theme, you might say. For 2011, I chose the serenity prayer. I must share that it had miraculous affects on me. In every situation, I was able to remember that prayer, and let go of what I couldn't change, immediately! It's true! No wallowing on useless worries, etc. What a gift! And I was able to focus my strength on dealing with the things I could change. It's the ultimate "choose your battles" prayer. And it got me through some tough times with true grace. I've decided to keep it as my life's motto.

"Happy New Year"

Dear Friends.
I pray you all have a 2012

overflowing with blessings and joy.

 



Focus...

I just read a most interesting quote, "Think narrow to hit big. The way to crack a massive stone is to find the single point of weakness. The same is true with most things. Don’t worry about a million things. Work on the one that cracks the big stone open." (Chris Brogan)

Hmmm... All these thoughts flooded in. Seems like every successful person I admire, whether their endeavors were business, family life, or on a larger spiritual scale, followed that same advice. We've all heard the story of the millions of star fish on the beach, and the person  throwing them back one by one... And one of my all-time heros, Mother Theresa, often spoke about how the only way to deal with the massive poverty and illness was one precious person at a time.

I've shared before about how my perfectionism can be paralyzing at times. And the irony is that my house and business are a mess. I have a thousand half-started projects. I need to start focussing on the individual pieces that need to be dealt with rather than always looking at the whole picture. I need to take action, and find that "single point of weakness", in order to crack the stone of perfectionism, and move forward.

  

Thanksgiving...

Another Thanksgiving...And this one not nearly as "Martha Stewart" as I usually attempt.Too much on the ol' table this year... literally and figuratively.My husband has been very sick for many months.One of the things I am most thankful for is that although his ailment was serious, the surgery was not. He is on the mend, but still in a lot of pain.So... we're doing "low key" this year.Or, at least as "low key" as you can get with 6 kids, a grandbaby, a nephew, two girlfriends, a boyfriend, a dog, and a bunny.
Who am I kidding?There's no such thing as a low key dinner here any day of the year! I look forward to the noise, the scents, the hugs, the laughter.
And then my FAVORITE day of the year!!!Everyone else calls it Black Friday.We call it..."Cuddle Day"We all stay in our pj'sWatch our favorite Christmas/Old movies.Eat magnificent left overs.And, of course, cuddle.
:)

But before "Cuddle Day" is Thanksgiving.And I have thought of what I am most thankful for this year... T...
The internet. Without it, I could not do what I do, and be a stay at home mom (and grandmom).H...Holidays that make us stop and gather.A...Art. Truly... without it, the earth would only be eh.N...New England. I am in awe of the beauty in every season.K...Kisses. And 30 years of the best of them.F...Faith & Family & Friends.U...U.S. service members who are away from their families keeping mine safe.L...Laughter. It really is the best medicine.  "Happy Thanksgiving" Dear Friends!!!
I am ever thankful for you ALL

A Beautiful Day...

Today was our 27th anniversary. It was a beautiful day. We enjoyed a delightful breakfast at our favorite country breakfast place... cottage windows overlooking a little pond... perfect. Then we drove the New England backroads and took picture after picture... after picture of the landscape with a thousand stories.

I took this picture of "us" to remember the day. It's a self-portrait of sorts. Makes me think of it as a portrait "through his eyes", which I am most sure is "my best side". For over 30 years he has not only tolerated my many faults, but has claimed they add to my charm. And he is my biggest fan. Always believing in my every artistic dream and endeavor. I must say... the feeling is mutual. I think that's the secret of true love, don't you? No one is perfect. But the secret is to find the one who is perfect for you...
 

Our favorite part of the day was spending it with our 25th Anniversary "present", our Jacob. He made it all new, wonderous, and so spectacularly joyfilled. Every moment was filled with a precious memory I will cherish forever.

 

Of course, the afternoon and evening were full of the usual homework, school open-houses, middle school dances, and all the other events that take over a life. But those few wonderous hours were beautiful.

 "Happy Anniversary Michael" 



Inspiring Quotes...

LOVE THIS QUOTE!

I read another amazing post by Lesley Riley, over at "Artist Success"

The title is "You Already Know This", and it's chuck full of inspiration.
This one quote, I had not heard before, but it sums up soooo much of what I

believe is essentail to all of our physical and spiritual life.

Just wanted to share :)

Letting go...

From my oldest son... to my youngest, little Jake. We took the four youngest kiddos to an amusement park yesterday. Hannah and Caleb went with dad and our friends to the "thrill rides" section, while my friend and I took all of our youngest to "kiddie land". Our three girls enjoyed the wonderful mini rides, but Jake was quite depressed just sitting in his stroller watching the slightly older kids have such colorful adventures. When they all boarded the mini merry-go-round, he started chanting "PWEAZ... PWEAZ" (which of course is "please, please" in toddler language).

Because it was later at night, kiddie land was all but abandoned, and the ride attendants could give special attention to the little ones in their temporary care. The girl operating the merry-go-round assured me that the little ones are seatbelted very tight, and that Jake couldn't wriggle his way out. HHHhhmmm... (she had never met Jake) Ok. We tried the little sleigh. It had a flat seat, sides, and didn't move on it's own. Jacob was beyond delighted. He rode around and around with the biggest smile on his face. But then his riding partner (3+ years his senior) decided she was brave enough to try a horse. Ugh... That meant Jake too, had decided he was too big for this "baby" sleigh.

The girl again assured me that the children were strapped onto the horses so securely that they couldn't possibly fall off. Me... being me... had to evaluate the worst possible scenario. "What if" the plastic buckle did come undone... "what if"? I suppose the worst scenario would be that he would be thrown from the horse as the merry-go-round spun, fall into the inner circle, slide down under the platform, and perhaps get caught up in mechanisms, or in the least get dragged between the platform and the dirt below.... death was possible, if not probable in such a case.

So, of course... I let him ride.

My husband says that makes me a good mommy. I'm still trying to work that out.

All I know is Jake had the time of his life. He rode that merry-go-round about a dozen times. He also rode the bouncy cars, the fire truck, and the boats. But that merry-go-round with the "horshes" was his favorite. I feel like I "let go" of my baby a little bit last night. You'd think I'd be an ol' pro considering I've done this 5 times before. But somehow it feels like I'm treading new waters every time. Still, my heart bubbles over thinking of watching my "baby" transform into a "cowboy" right in front of my eyes...

Now, the fact that my 11 year old daughter rode the new "untamed" rollercoaster is something I'm still trying to work through. I like that our kids are mostly fearless. It's just hard to keep my eyes open sometimes :)

My son...

I just stole this pic from my son's facebook photos. (I know, I know...) No, I can't give you a link to it. I haven't "friended" him, and quite frankly, I wouldn't recommend it. There are just some things a mother and son don't need to know about each other... LOL 

But, I digress...

I saw this photo, and it tugged at my heart. I have one taken when he was 7 years old that almost matches it perfectly. We were visiting a friend on Cape Cod. Mike and I took the kids to the beach. It wasn't summertime, so there was hardly anyone there. We walked for miles. Josh had on highwater sweatpants, if I remember correctly. Almost everything ended up being a highwater at one point or another, as he grew like a weed. Now... he's 6'3".  He's a hard worker, devoted boyfriend, loving brother, and caring son.

But when I look at this photo, I still see the 7 year old boy, way up ahead of me on the edge of the water, in awe of the vastness of the ocean, and carelessly chasing seagulls in the wind.

He's my first born, and I love him more than he knows...

Vacation

Funny how life brings about all kinds of little surprises... One month ago, Mike and I had no plans for this summer vacation. We love our down time with the kids. Mike's schedule allows for him to have extra time with them during the week when they're not at school, which feels so amazing compared to the school year when they miss out on each other because of his weekend schedule. We love just enjoying the back yard, cooking out, and going on little daytrip excursions to some of our favorite New England destinations. We haven't been on a "real" vacation in 9 years. (and let's just say that one goes more into the "learned lessons" category then the fun and relaxation one!)

About a month ago, Mike came home from picking up the kids at school. He said, "Jen wants to know if we want to go away with them the first week of summer vacation."

One of my best friends in the whole world, her husband, and their 3 youngest children (who happen to be our kids' best friends) were all planning on vacationing in The Berkshires. Jen's mother-in-law owns some time shares and wasn't able to get away to enjoy them this time around, so she welcomed them to invite some friends along. Wow. My favorite people, in one of my favorite destinations?

Now, let me tell you... I love these people so much, that I'd have said yes even if we were sleeping in tents. I knew that rain or shine the kids would have a blast together. And truth be told... after the stressful last couple of years, we all needed a vacation together.

To top everything off, my grandaughter (whom I care for during the work week) was  very happy to spend some extra time with her daddy who came home from college the week before our trip. Everything fell into place just lovely. But then.....

OUCH!!! WT? I ended up in the hospital and had to have an emergency procedure done on the common duct which was blocked up with gall stones. :(  Miraculously... And I mean MIRACULOUSLY we were angelically wisped into the care of a surgeon who pulled some strings and got me into the OR in just enough time to get the procedure done, and still allow me to go away. :)  But then...

We were scheduled to leave Monday at 2:00 pm. During the weekend, we noticed Jacob developing spots all over his body. We didn't want to expose our hosts' children or anyone else to anything questionable, so we called the pediatrician. We were hoping to hear "Oh, that's nothing." but instead, the nurse wanted Jake to be seen because it sounded like scarlet fever, which meant accompanying strep throat and very contageous. Great. Well, thankfully... after 23+ years with this pediatrician, and the charm Mike is able to pull out of his hat, they were willing to squeeze us in immediately.  I stayed home while Mike took Jake. I tried to gently break it to the other kids that if Jacob did have scarlet fever, there was no way we could go to a resort, and take the chance of infecting anyone else. But then...

My cell phone rang. It was Mike. The doctors all concurred that it was NOT scarlet fever, or 5ths disease or anything else that would cause any possible harm to anyone. Just "one of those childhood rashes"!!! YAY! So... we finished packing, and OFF WE WENT!!!

We were amazed at the lovely resort and accomodations. Our hosts were beyond generous in sharing this perfect week with us. I don't know what my favorite part was...



Mike making us coffee and breakfast

in the lovely kitchen every morning...

Enjoying meals together out on the balcony...

The totally relaxing bubble baths in the jacuzzi...

The total "child-friendly" atmosphere of the resort

which featured a playground, arcade, movie theater...

mini golf...

 swimming pools...

OR...
The pristine nature trails along the river...

Where the kids were enchanted by these HUGE vines...

... and where we had an encounter with a beautiful Black Bear!!!

umm... I'll stick with the bubble bath, thank you...

Then, of course... there was the abundant quaint New England scenery...

and the historic side trips like Arrowhead Farm, where

Herman Melville wrote "Moby Dick"...

inspired by his visions of Mt. Greylock from his study window...

Right down to the swell folks at the Tire Center in Sturbridge MA

who so kindly and graciously assisted us after our close call on the

Mass Turnpike...



Thanks to our dear friends, we had the BEST VACATION EVER! It was so chuck full of wonderful moments, and thanks to that bear encounter, I'm sure our kids will never... EVER forget our special time in The Berkshires.  I am very thankful we live in Black Bear territory, as they are predominantly gentle and used to human companionship on the trails. As you can imagine, I was immediately terrified. We were three adults and six young children on the trail. My first emotions were an inner panic about protecting the kids. Mike was calm and gently, but firmly directed us to head back, while he posed as bear chow. The bear hardly took notice of us, and continued on it's way across the path and into the woods. The panic melted away into awe and excitement. Hannah was on cloud nine to have had such an experience. Rebekah? She may never go for a walk around the block again, never mind a hike in the woods... LOL! As I was unpacking our bags, I said "Oh, look Bekah... that's the dress you had on when we saw the bear." She replied, "Ya. That needs to be washed. It still has bear fear on it."

I love my family. I love my friends. And I love New England!

I have so much to be thankful for...

 

A Father's Day Reflection...

In this past week, my husband has chaperoned two field trips and a school dance, has made sure to purchase flowers for his girls graduating kindergarten and 5th grade, has volunteered to teach music to two kindergarten classes, which otherwise would not have had it, has checked in on his mom every day, has cleared out part of the yard for a pool, has done all of the family grocery shopping, brought the kids back and forth to school, dealt with a family emergency for our older daughter, read "Lord of the Rings" to the kids at bedtime, even though he was way too tired. This, on top of kissing all the boo-boos, grilling lunches and suppers, cuddling, playing, and walking the dog... Oh! and of course, this was all when he wasn't driving the hour to or from work throughout the week!!! And besides all that, he still finds a way to make me blush with his affection, make me laugh to my toes with his humor, and encourage me by complimenting my work.

I knew when I was 15 years old, that this guy would be an amazing father some day. But even I couldn't have imagined... My husband is the most generous man I know... totally selfless.... and giving every last drop of his time and energy for others. For 23 + years, he has been inspiring me through his fathering of our children. He is tough when he needs to be, and tender in the next heartbeat. It's no wonder we are all so crazy about him. I'm so glad it's a gorgeous day outside today, because there's no greater gift we could have wrapped for him. Can't wait for him to get home from work, so we can share his favorite meal, and smother him with affection :) 



Sharing a "Funny"...

I was just sitting at the kitchen table, sharing a quiet moment with Jake, my 20 month old, when I looked over his shoulder and discovered the messages left behind by Caleb, my 9 year old. "Do Not Touch" clearly marking the newest additions to his rock collection. I guess that explains why he was asking me how to spell "touch" last night. LOL. (and I thought he was working on his story writing homework...)

With all these kids, one never knows what will be left behind in their daily wake. But this is one that put a smile on my face, and a giggle in my heart. Just had to share.



 

To Everything There is a Season?

Except in my studio!!!  

I've come to a conclusion... I am not a seasonal artist. Nope. Never. Not gonna happen.

 

For years, I've beaten myself up about this. I keep saying "If you're ever going to be "in the game" of this business, you've got to think ahead... plan ahead... and work on seasonal themes way before those seasons actually arrive." Then those seasons come and go, and I still have nothing prepared. I get frustrated with myself for not being organized enough to realize those business goals.

 

But I had an epiphany this past week. That way of doing things is not my goal. Yes, it's a business. And I do need to keep that at the forefront of my plans. But it's not 'me' to create that way. One of my major life goals is to "live in the now". That's me. Every day is sacred. Every day is precious. I  don't want to be surrounded by pumpkins in May, Santas in June, and Uncle Sams in December. What's more is that I am not even inspired in the least to work that way. Even "in season" I have a hard time "forcing" a themed doll or art piece. And while this is a business, it's also art, and I am just no good at trying to force anything.

Others do it beautifully. It "is" how they are inspired. They have a tremendous capacity to let the creative juices flow, and create within the themes that make perfect sense from a business perspective. I admire them. But I cannot compete with them. And I'm going to stop making myself feel bad about that.

In fact... today is my "Independence Day" of sorts. I am freeing myself from the expectations that I have placed on myself, and am going to enjoy the artistic journey wherever it brings me... through whatever season. I will enjoy everyone else's seasonal work with joy and enthusiasm without ever again wondering "what's wrong with me" that I can't get my act together.

 

My "act" is together! I'm just in a different play :)

 



Lilacs and Memories...

~Hannah, Caleb & Rebekah gathering Mother's Day Lilacs~

(yes... in their pajamas)

Twenty-three years ago, this day, I sat... waiting... impatiently... uncomfortably. I was almost 8 months pregnant with my twins. I was on medicines to stop that labor which had already started twice, prematurely. It caused me to be jittery and retain water. The next day was Mother's Day, and we were planning a little cookout at our house. Little did I know it was the eve of the day my actual labor would begin with no turning back.

I'll spare you the dreaded blow, by blow details. But in a nutshell, after 36 hours of hard labor, my son, Joshua and daughter, Sarah were born by c-section. Things had gone rough, and I had to fight to leave the hospital by the end of the week. Mike's grandfather had died, and we wanted to be home in the embrace of our family.

I was fine, at first. But then it snuck in... the "baby blues".  I was so excited about my babies, but I guess the exhaustion, the hormonal readjustment, the problems with nursing, and the whole "how could I bring such precious beings into such a sick world, all came crashing in.

When I had left for the hospital, the trees were all still hardly budding. But within two weeks, they were in full bloom. The world seemed fresh and new, but my body and spirit were having trouble catching up.

Then... one day... Mike came into the house with what seemed like miles of lilacs. Billowing handfuls, and vases, and pitchers of them.... Dark purple/pink, light purple, and white. The property line was overflowing with antique lilac hedges planted by his grandparents, and they blossomed profusely.

Those lilacs awakened such a joy in me. They reminded me of how much my husband loved me. They reminded me of all the goodness and beauty brimming in my life. The sight and scent of them just flowed through me, and uplifted me completely.

And just like that... the "baby blues" were gone.

Since that early motherhood experience, lilacs have held such a special place in my heart. And every year Mike makes sure that he and/or the kids gather billowing handfuls for mama on or about Mother's Day.

As our family grew, and we moved from that earlier home, we dug up some of the antique lilac sprouts, and brought them with us to our new home. Almost before we did anything else, we planted them along the property line of our new yard. That first spring... the very first time we revved up the ol' lawnmower, our son, Joshua, who was 13, plowed right over the lilacs with the mower, thinking that they were tall weeds.

LOL... One of the funniest memories EVER!!!

But, sure enough, they grew back even more full. It took a few years for them to fill in with blooms... quite a few years. But now, they overflow with gorgeous purple blossoms. And after all these years, no gift, no fancy dinner, no breakfast in bed compares to the joy I get from chubby little hands grasping onto the stems of lilac clusters, accompanied by a heartfelt "Happy Mother's Day"...

I hope all of the Mothers out there in "Blog Land" have a beautiful day tomorrow.

 

Note: I do want to make the point that in no way am I comparing my experience to the more drastic post partum depression. I know that no lilacs or other token of love can just take those serious symptoms away.



Mind, Body, and Soul...

I can't even believe it's been over a month since my last post. But it is what it is. For me, it was already a reflective time... Lent. I've always loved the "stripping away" of that season, and refocussing on how I am... or am not... living my life with and for Christ. But then, when something happens on the scale of the earthquake and tsunami that hit Japan, and the lingering nuclear crisis... I don't know. The immense suffering is so crushing. I find it hard to make small talk about vintage goodies and cloth dolls. Don't get me wrong. These things are part of my work. And I've seen folks share a lot of love and charity through such things, especially through blogging. But, at this moment in time, for this particular artsy lady, every word I've tried to utter has felt petty in light of the knowledge that moms are holding their babies tight on the other side of the planet praying the power plant miles away won't blow. I've been holding my Jake a little tighter too, and praying for those babies and their mamas.
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But, I haven't been in some depressed funk either. I've been working, and doing A LOT of cleaning and reorganizing here at home. I just haven't felt "chatty".  In fact, the combination of the spiritual journey of Lent mingling with the keen awareness of what really matters brought on by world events, has really kicked my butt into finally dealing with the unfinished business of moving into this house. Since we've lived here 10 years, it's about time, don't you think? For about a year, my arthritis kept me from being able to go upstairs to the second floor. In that time, it became the catch all for .... everything!!! So, an entire level of our home was demoted from bedrooms to storage to junk heap. I'm finally facing it all, and basically tossing, tossing, tossing, and more tossing. It feels really good to let go of so many things that I have held on to for way too many years, as well as things that I unwillingly inherited from everyone who needed a place to dump what they didn't have the heart to discard.  My idea of what is precious has changed dramatically. It feels so good to be making our house into a home... finally.
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I've also been making some personal changes. My artist friend, Robin, had been posting about this eating plan she was on. It's the McDougall Program. It was making amazing changes in her life, including reversing her type 2 diabetes. Then one day she posted about her dad being healed of his psoriatic arthritis over 30 years ago. My attention peeked up. I visited the site, and thought it would be too hard and/or impossible for me, as I have always been a passionate carnivore, and this is a plant based diet. But she challenged me to the "12 Day Challenge". And you know what? By day 2, I knew there was something to this. By day 11, I was a different person. I've gone from taking 12 pills a day to none. I had horrible acid reflux for which I took Prilosec every morning, then still needed Tums, yet was still awake all night with painful reflux. By the end of day 2, the acid reflux was GONE, and I was taking no meds.  I had suffered from allergies for over 20 years, and had taken sudaphedrin and sinus pain meds daily for 20 years to combat them. By day 2 the symptoms were gone, and I needed ZERO meds. Apparently it was not allergies at all, but the effects of dairy products causing what millions of people and their MDs assume are allergies. I am also sleeping like a baby for the first time in MANY years. Then of course... there's my psoriasis and arthritis. At first, both seemed to be in a miraculous remission. Now, I am experiencing a bit of a flare up, so the next step is to discover what particular foods are triggers for me. I had no clue that the nightshade family of plants were arthritis triggers. Unfortunately, this includes both tomatoes and potatos, which were staples in my new daily routine. I can't say this part is fun, but having experienced the immense changes, I can say it's worth the effort to feel so healthy again, and not need the medications, especially the toxic Enbrel injections.  On the weight aspect of it, I've lost 7 pounds since starting, but my husband has lost 12 pounds and is looking good!!! It's encouraging to do all this together.
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So, what else is going on? The great new diet has given me energy and naturally caused weight loss. This has been such wonderful incentive to add exercize into my daily routine. I started off with Zumba. LOVE it!!! Once you get into the flow of the music and the moves, it is soooo easy, and soooooo energizing!!! Love, Love, Love the strength and energy exercize gives! My daughter just brought me one of her Turbo Jam DVD's, so I'll introduce that this week too. The toddlers are loving "dancing" with mumzie!!! LOL

I guess this past 40 days has been full of unexpected surprises.  An extreme makeover of  Spirit, Home, and Body! I haven't been creating as much as I'd like to, but getting the house in order is very inspiring, and I'm enjoying the artistic aspects of that end of things as well as looking forward to finally having my studio space finished and ready to get to work!!!
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Taking a soldering class with Miss Suzi Blu and Margo, and looking forward to getting more artwork under glass soon! Just got all my new supplies in, and can't wait to get my hands dirty :)

If you'd like to check out the diet/program I am on, click on the link below. Dr. McDougall has been researching this for over 30 years, and the results are compelling. Then there are the testimonies of REAL people... people I actually know...  Not to mention my own experience is enough to keep me going! And did I mention it's free? That's right. Free!!! Unlike a lot of online diets promising miraculous results, Dr. McDougall actually wants everyone in the world to have the same opportunity to learn about what is healthy and what is potentially harmful to our bodies. He sells books, videos, and other "stuff", which folks are able to choose if they wish to, but none of it is necessary in order to learn all the basics of this diet.  And there are no pills, magic vitamins, etc.It's just all about healthy eating...McDougall Free Program  



Resolutions...

Yowza...  I've been trying to think of a clever way to deal with the fact that I haven't posted here since before Halloween. Should I just "fake it" and post an illustration Friday sketch as if no time has passed? Maybe no one would notice??? Or should I post volumes of information and pictures about all of the events, celebrations, and mishaps which have occured since my last post? Na.

I'm human. You know the story... Love. Kids. Sickie/Ickies. Broken Camera. Misfunctioning Laptop. Overwhelmed. Overjoyed... Life!

But this is my life too. Sometimes I think this is my "selfish" side. My art and my online community of friends are where I am "Linda Pinda", I engage in adult conversations, indulge in the many wonders of my online friends' art worlds, etc. I LOVE it here :)  And I have to remind myself that it is not selfish. In fact... I need, very firmly, to remind myself that my family needs me to take this more seriously, so that I can continue to work from home. Funny, how something doesn't "feel" like work when you enjoy it. But I do indeed need to get  down to the business of this business ;)

It's a New Year. I considered renewing last year's resolution to make art every day. Then the baby puked all over tarnation New Year's Day, and I knew God was laughing. Ok... maybe not laughing... but surely giggling a little. And so... I am giving it all over to Him. Surely He wants me to be more organized and committed to the work that I do. Surely He wants me to use my time and talents as best I can to glorify His name and help provide for my family. Surely He wants me to be SANE!!! But, alas... my life has always been most fulfilling when I have not tried to force my agenda, but follow confidently where He leads.

And so, while I have many hopes, and goals both personal and professional for this coming year, my only real resolution is to live by the following prayer:

I have found that no wiser words were ever written. And believe that it really is the answer to so many emotional, physical, and spiritual challenges. It's the secret to "letting go". It's the secret to staying strong. And it brings about such an inner peace to live by this prayer. Remembering these few words in difficult moments has transformed my life, and now I am hoping to remember them in all instances so that I can be an instrument of peace for my family as well.

"Happy New Year" Dear Friends. I am looking forward to growing with you!

Another Generation of Mixed Media

My daughter, Rebekah, had to do a page for her kindergarten class' storybook. She added all kinds of photographs, journaling people, things, and activities she loves. On the back, she also incorporated an illustration. I had to crack up as she dug through my supplies and found all matter of "sparkle"! She's my girl :)

She's got pencil, crayon, glitter, stickers, and gems going on in this picture. (I had to cut off her gem supply, or I'm not sure any of her other work would have still been visible... LOL).

This is where it all starts, isn't it? Just expressing what's inside of us with visual mediums... Funny how confident she is.  She doesn't compare her work to others. She doesn't even say "I want to be an artist when I grow up". She says; "I'm a great artist, huh mom".

We always ask children what they want to be "someday". Not necessarily a bad thing. It's good to have goals. But it's no wonder we put so much off for "another" time... "another" place, etc. We feel like we have to accomplish particular goals before we can experience our "being". We need to get "this degree", or  earn "this amount of money", or have "that space", or be "that age". Sometimes that's common sense. I sure don't want anyone operating on me without the official qualifications. But other times... maybe even most times, we put off our dreams and ambitions for reasons that just don't have to be.

I'm going to try harder to remember to ask children what they "do" now instead of always asking what they want to be "someday".

While I'm at it, I might just look in a mirror, and stop waiting for the perfect place and time to do what can be done today...

"Happy Anniversary"

26 years ago today, was the beginning of the most wonderful journey...

As with many couples who are happily married for so many years, we get the often asked question; "What's the secret?"

I typically answer that I believe there are two pillars for a long AND happy marriage... Faith and Humor.

What I am about to write certainly does not contradict that,  but I think  it's an elaboration worth sharing...

As I took time to reflect upon that picture... The very moment my young husband was reciting his vows... I couldn't help but think about all the blessings, all the fun, all the joys. But... I couldn't help remember all the tough times too... All the times we've stayed together in spite of all that sought to tear us apart. As I thought of all the joys mingled in with all the sorrows, I thought back to those vows. I thought back to what it meant "to be married" back then, and what it means now.

I cannot imagine a marriage without faith. I think of the strength and the grace that have come from the fact that our vows did not place all of our trust, all of our hearts, all of our lives in another person... but together, we vowed to place all that and more in God's care. And having drawn upon that grace every day for well... 9,460 days to be exact... THAT is the real secret.

And I thank God every day that not only has He protected us, sheltered us, healed us... but... he has kept our hearts open and that love flowing deeply... ever growing... and allowing us to learn from our weaknesses and our strengths along the way.

All that said.... a little humor still goes a lllloooonnnnggg way ;)

"I love you, Michael".

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Update: My *wonderful hubby... just reminded me of  leapyears. So, my math on the days is off. (Of course, Math IS one of those "weaknesses"  I referred to earlier). It has actually been 9,466 days. "Thank you, Dear".

*adjective provided by hubby (wasn't the first one that came to my mind)

(That's the humor part... hee hee ;)... )

While I'm here anyway...

Feel free to share your "Secrets of a Happy Marriage".   Remember, this is a rated PG blog  ;)

  



Remembering...

I guess we all remember where we were that morning. I was doing daycare. Mike was getting ready to go van shopping. The phone rang, and my brother said "Put the TV on". Who would have ever thought those 4 words would change everything...

Mike and I stood there stunned. Alone, and yet with so many fellow Americans standing in front of televisions across the nation. We were stunned together. So early on, no one knew what was going on. Was it terroism? Was it an all scale attack? Or was this some tragic accident?

Then the news that it was definately two planes. Then the news of the 3rd. And then the 4th. Oh, God... no.

We stood and our guts wrenched as the second tower crumbled in front of our eyes.

You could feel the panic in the air.

I was 4 months pregnant for Caleb, and I remember being scared to death at what may be coming. As talk of war mounted in the days and weeks that followed, I wanted to wrap my teenage son up in his baby blanket, and pretend he wasn't on the brink of being a man.

Those were scary days. But those scary days evolved into a patriotism that enveloped all of us. It was such an amazing experience of gathering and strength... rebuilding. And reaching past our own fears and mournings to help those who had lost so much more...

It's been nine years. In too many ways those early patriotic days have faded. In too many ways, we have forgotten. As my daughter and I watched the news reflecting on the 9/11 attacks, I asked her if they had talked about it at school. "No". was her simple answer. In these nine years, my children have never had a classroom discussion or lesson about 9/11,  neither in elementary nor highschool...

For me, Caleb is a constant reminder  that the losses go so far beyond that day. There were many pregnant women on September 11th who lost their husbands. Now their children are Caleb's age. Children who never knew their daddies. And all I can do is hug my boy, and pray that all those who gave so much more that day are as ok as possible.

And I can't pass by a firefighter without wanting to hug him...

I'm Trying To Keep It Together...

Any of you who know me well, know that my family is the heart and soul of me. And any of you who have been with me from the beginning of my online journey know that one member of that family has been my sidekick... my best lil' bud, my comfort, my prim assistant, my favorite critic, and my biggest fan... my heart.

My Rebekah

It was after Rebekah was born, that I knew my days of doing daycare were coming to a close. But I'd still need to bring in extra income. Time to follow some dreams... So, I joined ebay and started selling some primitives under the id tm*primitives*and*treasures. Unfortunately, my psoriatic arthritis took a vicious turn soon after starting this venture. I got to the point where I lost control of my hands and arms. I had to prop her on pillows to nurse her because I didn't have the strength to hold her. I couldn't sew or paint. It was depressing...
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But... I had joined some primitive artist groups while selling my wares on ebay. So, everyday I would visit and fiddle on the computer. I could move the mouse around pretty well while cuddled up with baby Rebekah on the couch. I started delving deeper into manipulating my own photographs and scanned backgrounds. I got brave enough to offer some graphics to fellow group members. Little by little, a new business venture began. But... graphics lead to templates in the ebay world, so my venture was limited.
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With Rebekah curled up in my lap, I spent night after night... sometimes 'til 4:00am studying HTML tutorials. I began to dream in HTML, think in HTML, speak in HTML!!! Finally, I began offering some templates to friends. When the requests started to come in, I wanted a fresh start business-wise, so I took a deep breath and pondered. Rebekah was inspiring me to enjoy the little girl inside of me more and more each day. Her zest for life, and beauty, and PINK was contagious. I decided for a few reasons to choose the nickname of my childhood; bestowed upon me by my own dear mom who died while I was pregnant for Rebekah. And Linda*Pinda*Designs was born.

As Rebekah grew, she would play around my feet while I created graphics and conducted my online business. She would dance and sing, sit and color, and often... she would plop herself right in my lap, and I would create with her little head of fluff bobbing back and forth in front of the monitor. I would be trying to help a technically challenged customer work through a copy and paste dilemna while wiping jelly off Bekah's cheeks.
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And Rebekah spent countless hours in my studio looking out her favorite window... Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... Like on this memorable snowy day...

One of  the best parts of having her as my prim assistant was that she felt as though my friends were her friends. "Is that gollywobbles, Mommy?" "Is Cora feeling better, Mommy?" "Tell Miss Jeannie I miss her." "When are we gonna go see Maoni again?" (that's Naomi, in big people talk.. hee hee)It was an extra special treat when I would recieve a package in the mail from one of my online friends. There was sure to be a dollie or some other treasure for Rebekah to unwrap and love before placing it in it's special spot.
Like this one from my dear friend Sam, of Gollywobbles...

and this one from Penny of Miss Pootsie's Primitives...

She even travelled hundreds of miles with me to spend time with some of my dearest online artist friends. And now, their children are her friends...

Since those early days, things have gotten better for me. Enbrel injections have made an amazing difference in my physical abilities, and relieved so much pain. I've been able to return to creating original art pieces and am enjoying that so much. Rebekah likes to sit and draw right beside me.

She's been with me... right with me... from learning HTML in the wee hours, to patiently waiting for me to dole out customer service, to taking photography drives in the country, to posing endlessly for my sketch model photos, to thinking cinnamon rolls were baking in the oven only to discover it's one of mommy's dolls drying...
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She's been my joy, my strength, my inspiration.

She's taught me more than I can ever teach her, including embracing the little girl inside of me, and believing I can do anything I set my mind to.

I have loved every single day of working, playing, discovering

side-by-side with my precious Rebekah.

And tomorrow.... tomorrow... she begins kindergarten.

I'm trying to keep it together.